It’s time to talk about death

The truth is, changing your life, aiming for better, and trying to make the best out of yourself is really difficult work. This isn’t something to be frustrated by, and as I’ve discussed before, it is a big part of why trying to achieve things in your life is so meaningful. However, executing this work, day by day, requires a life philosophy that justifies the effort.

This post is about such a philosophy. In the last few years of my life, I’ve come across several ideas that have helped me begin a framework that has justified living a life where being present and relentlessly pursuing better is essential. This post will be far less practical than others I’ve written, but I hope to give an insight into my thoughts on the overriding philosophy you need to live purposefully in this age.

A slight disclaimer. This is a very complex topic that I don’t think I’ll be able to capture all in one post—I’m going to do my best, but I see this as the beginning of a discussion that will be ongoing. This is because these philosophies are bound to change and grow over time, but also because articulating these ideas is pretty hard, and I’m not sure I’ll get it right the first time (this will not stop me trying, however).

Let’s start from the beginning—why should we do anything?

It is actually a rather difficult question to answer. The universe is so absurdly large that our physical presence in the grand scheme of everything that exists is so small that we round down to pretty much nothing. Additionally, the length of a single human life is so meaningless in the overall timescale of the universe that our life will be briefly forgotten. We are at a point in time in an incomprehensibly large ocean of events and objects that we can hardly dream of having a meaningful impact.

This is a very nihilistic point of view: nothing matters, so therefore it doesn’t matter what I do. And if it doesn’t matter what I do, why shouldn’t I just enjoy myself? Why not just get drunk, enjoy time with my friends, watch TV, and do as little as possible to get by so that I can chill and enjoy my brief time on this earth?

This is a really hard point to disregard. If we are all going to die, why not just take it easy and enjoy the ride?

I think there are several reasons why this not only just doesn’t make sense, but why instead the opposite is true. The fact that our lives are finite, and perhaps meaningless, doesn’t just mean we shouldn’t take the easiest path available; it in fact means that we should do the most we possibly can to make our place in space and time as good as it can be.

Let's jump back to this idea that we are small components of a larger universe. This is a pretty existential conundrum, and talking about this in any more detail, I think, is counterproductive. I’m not here to try and philosophise. The important part to really consider in detail is the fact that every human dies. Every important individual in history has reached the same fate that you are heading towards. No matter your thoughts about the afterlife, we can all agree that your time on earth is fixed.

I used to struggle with this idea of ‘death anxiety,’ and this thought used to really freak me out. The truth is, though, that death is inevitable and natural. In fact, a book that helped me come to terms with this was Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. There are many fantastic insights in this book, but one I like is that death is a process of nature, where the atoms that form your being are returned back to the universe to be used in other numbers of complex processes. If this is a process of the universe, then it can’t be bad. And even more, your life and death have no overlap; when one is the other can’t be, so there is no point worrying.

With this said, then, the knowledge (and acceptance) that we aren’t here forever puts a clock on what we are doing. What are we going to do whilst we have been given the gift of existence and presence? Many may think that this meaning is an excuse to enjoy pleasures and vices to their full extent because they feel good (and why not indulge?). However, I think the best way to pay back the universe for the gift of your birth is to do the best you can.

You are all in—this life will kill you. Therefore, find me a good reason you shouldn’t try and do the best you can. Why shouldn’t you try and achieve the very most you possibly can with your one chance at living? Why not try as hard as you can at those endeavours that give you meaning? Why not try to love your friends, family, and other humans as much as you can? Why shouldn’t you try and become as knowledgeable and as physically capable as you possibly can? Truly, what better use of your time is there? If you can aim at the indulgent or the meaningful, why not pick the latter and see just how much of an impact you can make?

And it's this idea, that for me personally, has given me a reason to peruse the very best things that I can name. Why not die having attempted the best things I can imagine and have nothing to regret? Why not play the most amazing game I can think of?

When you adopt this mindset, however, some other concepts simultaneously reveal themselves. One important one is a deeper understanding of the quote “easy choices, hard life; hard choices, easy life.” See, the pursuit of meaningful tasks. See, even if there was nothing to gain by perusing the best version of yourself, the cheap thrills of vice are destructive and bring about suffering in one way or another. If you drank every night, ate terribly, and neglected your physical exercise, I can guarantee you will become the victim of some pretty awful physical ailments, which will put a stop to your fun pretty rapidly. The (depending on your perspective) unfortunate truth is that fun can only be had in a balance with meaningful work. Letting loose and enjoying time with loved ones can only be had if you have evened the scales with pursuit of a higher path.

The more you aim at difficult and meaningful tasks, the easier your life will become as you build stronger relationships and develop a robust character. If your goal on earth is to simply enjoy yourself as much as possible, then maximising this process can only happen through the striving for meaning and purpose.

A final thought on death is that it is the ultimate equaliser. No matter what you do, everyone ends in the same fate. This is actually a reason, in my opinion, to be bold and optimistic in the way in which you live your life. No matter what you do, you will die, and therefore, because the outcome is fixed, there is nothing to be scared of; win or lose, it ends the same. What is also encouraging about this is that those who believe you can’t do what you want to do will also end up in the ground. 

Not only this, but everyone in three generations who knew you and them and everyone else will not only be gone, but also (aside from a few very, very infamous people) will be forgotten. And even if you become one of these famous people who are remembered for thousands of years, in only a small fraction more time you will still remain forgotten (in ten thousand years, no one will be remembered). And therefore, why fear embarrassment of failure? If you have something you want to do, and you are worried about people talking down on you and telling you you aren’t good enough, well, first, no one will remember them, and no one will remember you, so you might as well do it for yourself and enjoy your time while you are here.

Every experience open to humans is part of being alive and should be appreciated as such. Being afraid, anxious, and scared are all parts of being human and are part of the gift of having presence on earth. Therefore, notice and enjoy them, but know that regardless, it ends in death, and there is no point in holding off what you’ve wanted to do any longer.

It’s important to keep these ideas in mind. This idea is not some abstract concept used to glorify a hustle. What you do in your life is up to you; it doesn’t matter if you spend it working out, studying, partying, gaming, or relaxing. What I truly think matters is being cognisant of the fact that whatever you do, this is your only go at it. You must have some level of urgency to get done what you want to achieve, because there is far less time than you think.

And keeping that in mind is essential, as it creates the overall hierarchy we use to decide what we should do in our day-to-day actions. If we accept death is inevitable, then we can easily accept we should try to do something meaningful.

This necessitates us to ask what is meaningful. That's up to you, but the point is now you are taking your life seriously and asking yourself the big important questions. Once you figure out what's important (this will change day to day, month to month, and year to year as you live your life and grow), then you can start setting goals, and from those goals you can extract actions that you should be completing in the short term. From the bottom up, you fill your day with tasks, hoping that in some way they contribute to your wide definition of what a meaningful life is. Maybe this is going to work: reading a book, having conversations, and spending time with loved ones. 

Stack enough of these types of days, and you can start to achieve some long-term projects and goals. Achieve enough of these long-term projects and goals, and have fun and make connections with people you care about along the way, and you start to create evidence of a life well lived. The motivation, however, to have a well-lived life in the first place comes from the axiomatic fact that we only have one chance, and that life is finite. Without accepting this, it's hard to care about any of this in the first place.

I am blown away by the fact that I’m already 23. I’ve achieved things that I never thought I would reach when I was younger and am living in a phase of life that I never would have actually arrived at. The march of time is endless, and no one escapes. No doubt I’m still young, but the truth is that life is coming, and it's coming quickly. The truth is that a paradox exists of both having endless opportunity and being young, but the time of which I’ll still be young is rapidly shrinking. It’s time to go, and now is the time to push. The time of adolescence where one could live without a vision is rapidly shrinking, and it’s time to give everything the best shot I can before the window shrinks. What else better is there to do?